"I" Person

Our school district had staff development with Rich Allen...I still haven't figured out exactly what he "teaches" because there is something new every time. He has taught us about how our brain works, how to use music in our classrooms, and about personalities. This past Wednesday was about people who were "we" people and those that were "I" people. He described the two types of personalities so that we could recognize these traits in our students.

'We' people--want inclusion---people who want to be around anybody and everybody all of the time.

'I' people--want choice--want to be able to work independently and enjoy times with people, but want the choice of who and what is going to happen.

I am definitely an "I" person, now don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with friends and family, but I want to have some control over who is there and I have know what is going on. Control was another trait of an "I" person, they have to be able to have some control of the situation.

At times, I feel very in control of my life and what is happening or at least I am always trying to control what is happening. But I think it is time for a change. It is time that I let it go. Let go and give my life to God. I say I trust him, but I never let go, never give up control of my life. As a Christian we have one way to live and that is for him and in his hands.

But as a control freak or an "I" person, I want the choice- I want to choose what I do with my life, my day, my attitude. I don't like giving that power over to someone else. I don't want someone else dictating my life, my feelings, or my attitude. But at times, I allow some one's actions or feelings dictate my own. And I feel completely out of control.

So how can I ever give everything to Him? Allow him to take control of my life. How do I live free? Because the freedom seems chaotic, out of control. I am a planner, I live by a bell schedule, lesson plans, itineraries, and To-Do Lists. I know that His thoughts are not my thoughts, his ways are not my ways. I know that he has started a plan in me and is going to carry it out, but as an "I" person....I want a say in that plan. As a "planner" I want an itinerary to go with the life he has planned for me.

I feel lost right now. I feel alone right now. I feel confused right now. I feel as though I am chasing my tail.

How does an "I"/"planner" Let go and let God?