Walls

Everyone goes through different trials and tribulations throughout their life time, it is those experiences that help mold us into who we are. Many people usually change for the better, having a better out look on life.
But I feel that my experiences have affected me negatively. I have become calloused and very skeptical of those around me. I am not trying to say that I am the only person on earth that has divorced parents, had my heart broken, and been hurt by people I have cared about. I know that everyone will have their heart broken at some point in life, I don't wish that hurt on anyone, but it will inevitably happen. I am just trying to share how those trials have affected me personally.
But I have never really stopped to look at how the pain and hurt has affected me and my personality. I used to be a fun loving, out going, smiling, happy person that loved to be around people and loved being a social butterfly. But over the years, the rejection, disappointment, and heartaches have taken their toll on me. I never saw the change myself, but those around me have.
At times it seems easier to keep people at a distance, not allowing them to get to close. I don't like letting people in my personal space or my life.
I am afraid to get close to new people because I don't know what is going to happen. What will they do with the personal information they know about me? Who will they tell? What will happen to us? Are they being genuine? Do they really mean that? The doubt and questions could go on and on.
It is sad to say that I have a trust issue. But I do. People could be nice to me, really mean it, and I just don't believe them. I always think there is something behind their compliments or they just don't really mean it. I have been promised a lot of things in my short life by people who said they cared about me and they turned out to be lies. So, if people who are/were supposed to love me could lie to me like that then what would keep someone I just met from doing the same thing?
I never really had to look at myself in such away, I guess because no one has ever said anything to me until the other day. I had someone tell me, "I have seen 2 totally different people in you". I was a little offended, but at the same time, I know that this secluded, frowning person is not really who I am, but for someone else to notice...wow! So...I investigated the situation, I called my best friend and asked her if I was 2 different people. she surprisingly said 'Yes!" Really? She said that she has had to explain to people "She just doesn't like big groups" "She has to warm up to you." Total slap in the face for me.
It makes me feel bad to think that I have been ugly to the people around me. I never meant to hurt those that I come in contact with, I just meant to protect myself from hurt, disappointment, and weakness. I do not want to offend anyone or hurt any one's feelings, but at the same time... I still want to protect myself. I DO NOT want to be hurt like I have been. The good times that could be had just aren't worth the hurt later.
Have I really become an quiet, rude, standoffish, socially awkward person? Really?
Where do I go from here?