I Needed to Tell You

I can still see you walking into a room and I can almost feel myself blush at the thought. My heart raced when you were near me. I tried to keep my eyes off of your every move. I always wondered if anyone could hear my heart pounding in my chest,. You made me so nervous, even now, the mere thought of you makes butterflies dance in my stomach. How long ago was it? Really? It feels like only yesterday.
I still dream about those beautiful eyes staring into mine, so deep and mysterious. I can still see your smile, every time I fall into a dream. The monotony of my day always leads me to a moment we once shared. Every little thing blasts me back to what we had; shopping, movies, singing, going to Wal-Mart, homework, dinners, laughter, fights, tears, hugs, family, dreams...you were always with me and you still are. At times it is almost haunting how you are still so much apart of my life, and yet you are not even here. Is there something wrong with me? I don't know what to do when all theses memories and emotions come flooding back. My heart aches because I can't share life with someone like I shared it with you. I don't get to see you, hear you, or hold you anymore and the memories taunt me.
How long will you come to mind? How long will I see your face when I close my eyes? How many more dreams will I spend in your arms? How many more times will I go to pick up the phone only to put it back down? How can I make the thought of us fade into the mist?
Answer me this: if we were not meant to be together, not meant to share our lives with one another, then why do I still love you the way I do? Why hasn't that love faded? Why do I still want you to hold me? Why when something good or something bad happens, you are the one I want to call? Why are you the one I want to fight with?
Am I the only one that feels this way? Is it really only a one sided desire? Do you ever think of me? Have you ever wanted to call me, but just put down the phone? Has there been a time when you thought, "She would understand?" Have you ever wished it was me by your side?
I have yet to find something as real as you, even though I don't really know if we ever really were. I just know that I still love you. It may be too late, but for what its worth, at least you will never doubt my love for you.